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User blog:Tadano Hitoshi/Ragtag Hustle Kancolle Edition - Everyday Hustle 5 - Pocky Madness
11 November - A Day for Pocky Games -- 11 November - A Day for Pocky Games Part 2 Admiral: "ALL HANDS, I DEMAND A CEASEFIRE RIGHT NOW!!!" Despite his best efforts using the base's PA system, nobody listens. Admiral (sighs heavily): "... This does it. Imuya, my black briefcase please." Imuya: "... Commander, you're seriously going to deploy that on everyone?" Admiral: "Blunt rounds. They'll still hit, but for you shipgirls it'll hurt probably a bit more than an average person getting hit by a fastball fired by batting center machines at maximum speed. The bigger girls won't probably be fazed since it's like a peashooter to them anyway, but it still makes a clink when it hits and I want them to know that." Hachi: "I hope you're aware of the fact that a baseball at that velocity can crack someone's skull." Admiral: "Someone, that is. That is quite a conundrum to hear that from people who takes warship gunfire to the face however. Well, you know the drill right, submariners?" Imuya, Hachi, Maruyu, Iku, Goya: "Roger, sir!" And with that, the Admiral disappears into the shadows. -- 11 November - A Day for Pocky Games Part 3 Kaga: "It's useless. With the planes the Admiral has gifted us, the First Carrier Division... your guns won't reach us." Akagi: "I won't be so careless as to let anyone slip by. This time I made sure that I can see each and every single one of you. There's no escape!" Haruna: "Kh...!! Haruna will not give it up! Haruna will play with the Admiral! The Pocky Game!" Mutsu: "Fufu... that's the spirit, Haruna-''chan''. This Onee-san has no intention of losing either, not especially after being out of the spotlight for so long. ... Er, the thought of actually playing it that way with our little Admiral is making me wet a bit. Whoops." Hearing this, Haruna throws Mutsu a glare, eyes bloodshot. Mutsu: "Wait wait wait, Haruna-''chan''! I was just joking!" Haruna turns back to face both Akagi and Kaga before them. Mutsu: (Me and my mouth... that almost made me wetter, but for a different reason. It's all Admiral's fault, I'll find a way to strip him of his pants some day. In a way I can do it without looking desperate for just a little touchy-feely.) Meanwhile, on another side of the spectacle. Sendai: "Dang it, getting outranged isn't fun. Looks like if there's a way we can win this, that would be by dragging this out until night time where those two damn carriers become sitting ducks, while we slip by these two battleships and make our run towards our goal - the Admiral's office. What do you say?" Kiso: "Even with the range I have for a pre-emptive strike, their planes will take us out sooner before I can get into position." Maya: "You guys forgot about me, don't ya know that?" Sendai: "Oh, if it isn't the girl who almost night-battled the Admiral. If you know what I mean~" Maya: "S-shut up! I was just feeling a little bit out of it at that time. Besides, I don't want to hear that from someone who assaults him that way on an almost regular basis!" Sendai: "Well, I would've gotten my way hadn't he been so slick to evade most of my attempts. But I wonder how he'll fare if I lock him into close quarters~" As she says that, she makes a suggestive gesture with her fingers on her mouth, while licking her lips. Kiso: "He's better than that." Sendai: "Ah! Hey! How'd you know-- wait, you've been here longer than I did." Kiso: "Well, as much as I'd really love to, he won't give me any time of the day. Especially not with the hectic times our base was put in during summer. Sometimes I wonder if he only looks at me like how a man looks up to his best male friend... Meanwhile, Samidare's too much of a yesman to even try anything much more daring on her own, and she's not in the base most of the time nowadays." Maya: "... Geez. Somehow I feel bad for that young'un." Sendai: "Agreed. Though it's not like she's being treated any badly either." Kiso: "If only the headquarters issued a new upgrade plan for her like Fubuki and Murakumo had." Maya: "We're not ones to speak, though. I mean, look at us." Sendai, Kiso: "... Yeah..." (Note: ... Samidare, I hope one day you'll get a Kai Ni much like Fubuki and Murakumo. And Inazuma too. That'll probably make the rest of the teitokus who chose you and Inazuma much, much more happier in their teitoku careers. ... Oh and Sazanami, too.) At the same time, on yet another side of the spectacle. Ashigara: "Everyone, sally forth! Victory is calling out to us!" Tone: "Though ye drag me out here, the First Carrier Division's but a terrible match for mine seaplanes." Ashigara: "No problem! Those are some fine planes though, I'm pretty sure that'll help us drag the fight with them till nightfall, and we'll confront the First Carrier Division head-on. Admiral, we're coming for you!" Tone: "Ye be planning to have mine planes destroyed!? Thine head's in thy gutter, o Ashigara!" Shigure: "... Yay..." (All I wanted was just to play the Pocky game with the Admiral... to think Ashigara-san would drag me, Yuudachi and Tone-san to her side, though...) Yuudachi: "Poi! Pocky game, pocky game-''poi''~! Admiral-''san'', Yuudachi wants to play--''ppoi''...?" Yuudachi, the only one apart from Ashigara in the group being in high spirits, notices a sudden glint coming from the direction of the homeport. All of a sudden, there appears a flash. Not even a second later, something hit Yuudachi right in her forehead, causing her to lose balance and tumble backwards. Yuudachi: "Poi!?" Shigure: "Yuudachi!?" Ashigara: "!!! What was that!? Tone''-san'', did you manage to catch what hit that girl!?" Tone: "Searching now! All planes la--oowww!!" Tone, hit by the same glint nobody else notices, falls backwards in the same manner Yuudachi did. Ashigara: "Damn!! What was it... looks like I'll have to scout for it mys-- Ow, ooowww!?" Shigure: "I can't see where that came from!" Noticing this, Akagi and Kaga nods at each other. Kaga: "Looks like someone is interfering. Akagi-san, I wi--oof!?" Akagi: "Kaga-san!? ... Wait, I caught a glimpse of what caused it. A sniper shot...? Who... aaah!?" And thus, the First Carrier Division is now out of the tag-team free-for-all skirmish. Kiso: "Sniper shots!? Could it be...!?" Sendai: "It's him, right." Maya: "I'll try to track him with my rada-- gah, radar interference!? Is there a jamming picket somewhere!?" Kiso: "Be careful and keep moving. ... Great, just when the situation couldn't be any better. This means we're all going to be in for one hell of a scolding after this." Maya: "He's the cause of this situation to start with, dangit... To suddenly start shooting at us like that, there's a limit to how much he seems to hate us." Kiso: "I'd rather think that's not the case, plus we and everyone else in this 'little' scuffle kind of added fuel to the fire..." On another side... Haruna: "Ah, ow! Ouch!" Mutsu: "Ouch! ... Damn it..."'' (It's him, right. I guess he really blew his fuse...)'' And then back at shore... Yamato: "For the Pocky game to cause such a competition... I guess I could just keep my plans to invite him for an evening tea with a chocolate fountain and some stick biscuits for some other time." Isokaze and Hamakaze: "You had such a plan!?" Yamato: "You know, he's unexpectedly very weak against offerings of food. He won't take the bait so easily, though." Isokaze: "So I was right. But I don't know why he keeps rejecting my offerings for the grilled saury I made him back then." Hamakaze: "... Isokaze, haven't you tasted how that grilled saury of yours was like...?" Isokaze: "I did. It was somewhat bitter... I don't know why, but Tanikaze only gave me a facepalm for it." Hamakaze: "... I knew it." (sighs) Approaching them is the cruiser Ooyodo. Yamato: "Ah, Ooyodo-''san''. What brings you here?" Ooyodo (sighs heavily): "For one, I'm glad you aren't involved with that kind of a mess." Yamato: "Probably not worth it. I would rather try to politely court that man a little bit more. If I can do that, I'd be happy enough." Ooyodo: "Showing off your ladylike graces... huh. Oh well. I'm here with his authority to end this whole mess. You'll help, right?" Yamato: "If I can help pacify the situation with my presence, perhaps." Fast forward a few minutes later, at port. Haruna: "Ouch... what was that shot... was it an enemy? But I can't feel any intention to destroy..." Admiral: "That's because I don't have that intent." The Admiral appears at the dock, holding a sniper rifle. Haruna: "A-Admiral!? T-then... those shots that hit us... you fired them?" Admiral: "Who else do you think owns this peashooter in my arms? Even though those are blunt rounds fired at low power, without Akashi and the arsenal fairies this thing wouldn't even produce as much as a clink on your armor. Anyway, I'd love to believe all of you heard my orders for a ceasefire. But there's a difference between hearing and listening, and since you didn't do the latter, I figure I needed to let you all know." Haruna: "..." Mutsu: "... Come on, Admiral. It's November 11. You know... you could've gone a bit gentler." Admiral: "Should I? Look at yourselves and look around you. No matter how you look at it, that was an almost free-for-all skirmish. November 11? And you launched yourselves against each other for this? The fact that I had to use this at all shows how bad of a situation it turned out to be." Mutsu: "Urk..." Ooyodo: "Sigh... Get up, disarm and go to the Admiral's office later, all of you. Before that, repair any damage sustained. Akashi is always on standby so go to her if you only sustained minor ones. Also, I and the Admiral could have been more forgiving if it's the destroyers making this kind of racket. But to think you capital ships started this whole mess... Any more fuss and we might have to use even more force to discipline all of you." (Looks at an armed Yamato and the surfaced submariners surrounding the group). One by one, the girls returned to the docks. The Admiral approaches Ooyodo as the girls leave the port. Admiral: "... To think this so-called Pocky game is showing me such lack of integrity in the forces I command by letting such an incident happen... and it's almost D-Day for the fall operations at that..." Ooyodo: "I believe you need more insight into women's hearts, Admiral. Just acting all military-ish won't do us much good, you know." Admiral: "Hah... the ones up there who thought it'd be a good idea to reanimate warships of old by turning them into spirits who then take the form of human girls to fight these things called Abyssals must have a very warped idea of universe." Ooyodo: "Complaining like that won't get us anywhere, Admiral. Anyway, let's go back and rest. ... Try not to be too hard on the girls later, okay?" Admiral: "I think I'm scaring myself that I am actually starting to not get phased so much with that kind of chaos." Ooyodo: "I think you could learn some things from our local Admirals. They might look like dorks when you see them, but they're much more competent than you are. While being more laid back than you." Admiral: "Having to acknowledge that myself troubles me. ... Oh well. I guess I am a bit too tight. I haven't learned my lesson from that one outing we had." Ooyodo: "... For starters, I think we could use a day to hang out." Admiral: "... Again?" Ooyodo: "Why not." Akashi: "Yep, why not!" Admiral: "Akashi!? I thought you were in the arsenal?" Akashi: "Even I need some down time, you know. Well, luckily not many of them sustained damages, so I'm pretty free right now." Admiral: "... Haaa..." Akashi: "You seem like you need a good massage, I can do that you know." Admiral: "... Please don't massage me in strange places." Ooyodo: "Akashi, don't start." Akashi: "Okay, fine. Just lend me your shoulder for a bit and you'll be fine." Admiral: "Mngh... thanks, I guess." Ooyodo: "Well then, let's get going." -- Night Time Melancholy of Admiral Tadano Hitoshi It's night time. After much scolding, though gentle, by the Admiral, the base returns to peace. Kiso remains with the Admiral in his office. Admiral: "Good grief. Why is it that everytime there's something like this you lot almost caused our naval base to go into DEFCON 1?" Kiso: "Probably because there's so many of us, but there's like only one of you." Admiral: "And that is a problem?" Kiso: "I'd say so. Remember, even though we're beings called shipgirls, there's a reason we're called ship''girls''. Fundamentally, we're all simply girls if you separate the 'ship' part from us. And you're a human male. In our eyes you're a boy. Put boys and girls together and it's not hard to figure out the math, don't you think?" Admiral: "Even I can figure that out. But I don't come here so that I can be all chummy with you girls. I don't want to follow the footsteps of those who command you people with their lower bodies." Kiso: "And you're saying it's all fine for you to disregard our feelings as human girls towards you, a human boy?" Admiral: "No! I do acknowledge it's not good for me to keep pretending I am not seeing the signals you lot keep sending me. ... To be honest, I'm very lost on how I should respond at all. Let me be frank, Kiso: I am not one to be told to choose. Either we stick together here as one organization or I quit my post so that nobody shall shed any unnecessary blood in my name, and everything will go like we never met to begin with." Kiso: "That's very... harsh of you. Not just on us, but on yourself as well." Admiral: "Harsh on you maybe, but I'm quite used to forgetting people." Hearing this, Kiso grabs the Admiral by the collar. Kiso: "Are you saying that the time we spent from the first day we established this naval base, was all for nothing!?" Taken by surprise with this, the Admiral went silent for a bit, but then found his voice to answer Kiso again. Admiral: "... No." Kiso: "Is 'forgetting people' your method of consoling yourself then? Hearing you say that almost nonchalantly is starting to get on my nerves, you know. You make it sound like everything we've done, everyone we've met, and everything else up till now is nothing to you, that you can just say that. Truth is, you're just going to be hurting inside like we do if you decide to suddenly part ways with us, don't you!?" Again, Admiral went silent for a bit, but after a while he took a deep breath. And let out a heavy sigh. Admiral: "Haaa..." Kiso: "... Your face is telling me that I hit bull's-eye on that. Come on, tell me your true feelings." As Kiso says that, she slowly lets go of the Admiral. The Admiral turns his head downwards, and raises his hand, covering his face. Admiral: "... I can't deny that. As expected from someone who used to be my first mate on my first day. You know me very well. Even though I had to continue the summer-time operations without you." The Admiral pauses for a bit. Admiral: "As much as how I'd like to tell myself that. That it's just another phase in my life. That I can forget about you lot and move on. It sounds so simple. But it isn't. After all, I'm just a simple human. There's no way I can simply do that like Death does it." Kiso: "Death...? Is that a name of a person? You don't mean Death as in death itself... or do you?" Admiral: "The Death I speak of... is what you think it is. The Azrael, the Fourth Horseman, the Pale Rider, the Grim Reaper, the Shinigami... what have you. At one time in my life, I wished that he'd take me away from this world. He appeared to me, but he refused me. He said to me, 'Your time is not now. You have a lot to live for. You also have a lot to live, and let live. Let your journey towards the end of your time enlighten you before I meet you as the Death that you seek.' " Kiso: "...." Admiral: "Forgetting about people is something only he can do with such ease. Especially when those are people who he sends away to the afterlife time and time again. He is an existence that has lived through aeons and has seen the beginning and ending of centuries over and over again. Of course that would be very simple for such a being." Kiso: "You speak of it as if you're talking about a person..." Admiral: "That's because my encounter with him was in person. What makes more sense than your existence as shipgirls? Why, Death himself appearing to me in person, that is." Kiso: "!!!" Admiral: "Today's incident gave me another hint of things I should learn in life. Running away, sidestepping, and avoiding complex interpersonal relationships are not the ways I should face them. Kiso... from now on, I'll learn to appreciate more of you girls' gestures. But I'd like it if we don't go too far. As you said it earlier: There are many of you, but there's only me here." As the Admiral says this, he approaches Kiso. Kiso: "...?" Admiral: '"''It's fine, isn't it. It's our thing." '''Kiso: "You..." Admiral: "I've always depended on you all a lot, and I'll continue to do so. I can only do this much." Hearing this, Kiso gives out a chuckle. Kiso: "Heh... I see. It's our thing, all right." She then slings an arm over the Admiral's shoulder, and brings him close. Kiso: "Haha... you know, Admiral. Now that you've loosened yourself a bit, you feel a lot warmer than the usual." Admiral: "Is that so." Kiso: "Well, this is not bad, I guess. ... Sorry for getting involved in today's mess, Admiral." Admiral: "I'll pray that doesn't happen again." Outside the office are a few onlookers. Haruna: (H-Haruna's so jealous...) Sendai: (That smooth talker...) Akagi: (Come to think of it, he didn't open up much to us...) Kaga: (... How enviable...) Mutsu: (... How the hell am I losing to that tomboy.) Yuudachi: (That looks fun-''ppoi...)'' Shigure: (I want to be there...) -- Intermission: Maya's Strange Request. Admiral: "Moreover, is that something, that someone who slacked off on their air defense duties, should say to a superior officer?" Maya: "Urk..." Admiral: "... Oh well. But know this, Maya. 'Fondling' my 'ass' might probably be too strong of a request you're making to me." Maya: "What should I say then!?" No answer from the Admiral. Instead, he spreads his arms. Admiral: "How about this then?" Maya: "... !!!!" Admiral: "Come." Slowly, Maya approaches the Admiral. Her hands reaches out to him, and then... Admiral: "... ?" Maya slips a hand into the Admiral's shirt. Admiral: "!!! ... Maya, what are you doing?" Maya: "..." Admiral: "Maya?" Maya runs her hand along the Admiral's body. Maya: "... Hey, Admiral." Admiral: "What is it?" Maya: "On that day, I thought that you had a scrawny body. I'm sorry for that." Admiral: "What do you mean?" Maya: "To think you're built like this... just what kind of training did you go since you were a kid?" Admiral: "Maya, didn't I mention that I'm much older than how you see me?" Maya: "That's true, but... that's... one hell of a Spartan training." Admiral: "I didn't intend for you to try feeling me up when I spread out my arms, but how do you find me?" Maya: "... The fact that you look like a brat is troublesome." Admiral: "Well, maybe you'd like to take a look at your face in the mirror." Maya: "Huh!? What was that!?" Admiral: "I mean, your words and your facial expression don't match." Maya (looks into a mirror): "... Oh shit. I'm making that dirty face!? What the hell, I look like an old geezer!" She then lets go of the Admiral. Admiral: "So?" Maya: "... I'm done for now. So I'll stop. Admiral, I didn't realize it but that was too strong of a stimulus for me. Sorry." Admiral: "What's wrong?" Maya: "Any more and I might want to go to the third base." Admiral: "... I see. Any need to... um, give yourself some sort of... self-administered relief?" Maya: "N-no! Thankfully I didn't go far enough. Haaa... Breathe in, breathe out. Calm the hell down, I'm Maya''-sama'' damn it. I can't get too carried away. Check, one, two. All right. I'm back to being me." Admiral: "Surprising to know you're holding back." Maya: "What the hell do you even mean by that?" Admiral: "But yeah... You do know that spells trouble if you try anything funny." Maya: "Geez, being human sure is difficult. At least back then we're more about function than emotion. Anyway, thanks for that... I guess. I got me some much-needed touchy-feely. I'm a sailor at heart, after all. Thanks for the booty... or rather, I almost took too much of it." Admiral: "As they say, self-restraint is important." Maya: "Got it. ... Hey, I always say this, but it's fine to go behind me when we go out to the seas, you know." Admiral: "You wouldn't mind me getting an eyeful when the wind blows hard?" Maya: "You're the kind of guy who someone can forcefully shove you into staring at one from point blank... and you still wouldn't bat an eye." Admiral: "Now that would be a lie." Maya: "Well, it's no use trying to elicit that kind of expected response from you if you don't want to. ... Hey, next time please let me get some of dat ass for real." Admiral: "No. Get back to work, we're wasting time right now. We have a strategy meeting next." Maya: "Tch... All righty then." -- Strategy Meeting: Fall Operations Prep. Admiral: "All right, ladies. According to some news from headquarters, the next operation seems to be involving a number of light cruisers and destroyers. Well, for the... more mature ladies, you'll be involved as well. ... Or rather I should say every single one of us should be in our best condition for the operations. Ooyodo." Ooyodo: "Right. For the past few months since our Summer operations, we've actually been putting focus on everyone for the most part. Some of the destroyer upgrades are already completed with modernizations, as for light cruisers... I think I might have to personally see some action myself. Abukuma's first phase modernization has been completed as well but we still haven't received our next blueprint in our reserves. Some destroyers with their first phase upgrade has completed their modernization, but I believe their training level could be increased to meet our required operating standards. Our best light cruisers are still the Sendais with full upgrades and modernization. For the heavier classes... I think we are in the clear. ... Just a personal remark, Admiral, you seem to favor the battleships a lot, don't you." Admiral: "Well, there's this aura of them I can't deny that I'm being attracted to. Maybe it's the charisma." Ooyodo: "I see. Ehem. Akashi, arsenal reports please." Akashi: "Yep, here goes... As Ooyodo said, the Admiral sure loves upgrading battleship weaponry. Well, apart from that we have only a few upgraded medium-caliber and small-caliber guns, as well as some radars improved a tiny bit." Admiral: "I would do more given I have more resources to spare, but weaponry upgrades seem to come at a hefty amount of resources and research, isn't it." Akashi: "Sure they do. Well, that aside, even though I suppose only a few will be able to carry these upgraded equipment since we didn't have enough to make many of them, we still have enough standard equipment for everyone else." Akagi: "Majority of our attack and fighter squadrons are trained enough. Our only issue would be suiting our loadout according to the expected number of enemies, both on surface and on air, that we'll face..." Ooyodo: "Acknowledged. And with that said... our decision for the Fall operations will be..." Admiral: "Like summer, 'clean-up operations for the veterans.' No gold, no glory, no gospel. Just one phrase: 'Finish them off.' And we're going to do exactly that." Silence filled the meeting room as the Admiral says this. Admiral: "Well, like our last operation, our goal this time is to be able to complete our mission successfully. Let's not repeat our failure in Summer again." Ooyodo: "And that wraps up our meeting. Admiral, anything else to say before we are dismissed?" Admiral: "Let's do our best. Also, as usual, my general order - Nobody. Sinks. On my watch. Bar that... let's chill out and hang out after this. Who's with me?" Ooyodo: "My." And the entire naval base is filled with cheers. Admiral: (If we meet again... I'll make sure I'll finish the job I never accomplished. I'll find you, and I'll end it with you.) Category:Blog posts